Imagine everything is going perfectly well, just how you intended it to be. And then, one fine day your partner breaks up with you, and you are left wondering why. Sometimes we miss certain things, and maybe missing those pointers is the reason why things ended in the first place. Nobody is born perfect and there are no perfect relationships; we all make mistakes, mostly without realizing the mistakes. However, there are some relationship mistakes that may cost you a great relationship, starting with your partner losing interest gradually without you even realizing it.
Here are the mistakes that we all make without realizing that may end a treasured relationship.
1. Not being present mentally
The biggest mistake is not giving the attention required. when you are with your loved one avoid using your phone put it down, be in the moment with your partner. So don’t text, or scroll or tweet. We all love attention and want the focus. especially women. That’s why it is important that you let your partner know that whatever they are saying isn’t falling on deaf ears. You should be there with them, in that moment with your body, mind and soul. Real and meaningful conversations happen only when you are mentally present. This way you will be able to strengthen your relationship.
2. Getting Jealous
Another big mistake you can’t afford to make. Being needy and jealous will not make her/him think you love her/him, instead, they’ll start feeling trapped and annoyed. This eventually leads to a loss of attraction. By doing this you show that you aren’t as secure with yourself as they thought you to be. They might start considering you weak, not mature enough. A woman does not want to be with a boy, she needs a man. Similarly, a man does not want a woman who would doubt him for every handshake or hug with another woman.
You need to show your partner that you are strong, someone who they can lean on, someone who trusts them as much as oneself. If you can’t control your emotions and worry too much, they won’t be able to expect you to be the person they can lean on. There are a few common things that people get jealous about:
- Worrying about her male friends/his female friends
- An ex contacting her/him
- Becoming overprotective, always wanting to know what she/he is upto.
Lying doesn’t do any good to anyone. People in relationships, especially girls, are great at figuring out things. You may think that you will get away with it but trust me, you won’t. So many relationships have ended, just because of lying, however harmless someone thought it was. You may think, white lies are fine but they’re not. Just simply don’t lie. Your partner will eventually find out, they always do.
Lying is the most terrible mistake to make because you might get a second chance but you’ll lose the trust. Once the trust breaks, just like a physical injury, even if it heals, it leaves a mark behind.
4. Not talking enough or non-stop talking
Men find it hard to talk, and talking for women just comes easy. When you get into a relationship, that’s because you want someone in your life, someone you can be with, and someone you can talk to. But sometimes men forget how important it is to talk and engage and share. Give 1-2 hours to your girl every day. Talk about your day, tell them stories about your past, anything. Just engage in conversation. Open up and vulnerable.
On the other hand, when it comes to talking, some women talk as if there is a race of words going on and they just don’t know where the finish line is. Silence has its own place in a relationship, so try to create opportunities to enjoy peaceful moments together. Cuddle and listen to music, watch Netflix or just lay cozily on a couch enjoying each other’s presence. Most men love to hear their partner talk, but you should know when your voice turns from music for their ears to unwanted noise.
5. Don’t run after him/her TOO much
Don’t pursue your partner too much, you to understand the idea of letting a woman come to you. A relationship is like a tennis match, you hit the ball, she hits it back, you hit it again and then you wait for her to do the same. If you don’t wait for her, you will seem desperate and seem like your are trying to force things. But also don’t just let her go when you love her, that’ll make her feel as though you never really valued the relationship in the first place.
6. Not Standing Up For Yourself
This one is especially for men. Not standing up for yourself will make your partner, especially a woman, lose interest in you as well as the respect for you, FAST. This shows how willing you are to let go of your values just to make them stay. Don’t be the submissive boyfriend or a docile girlfriend as that will lead to the following consequences, both being unhealthy for your relationship.
- Your partner losing all attraction and walking away.
- OR Your partner becoming controlling, dominating, and just neurotic.
What not standing for yourself is like:
- Being okay with second-class treatment from her/him.
- Not having a say in what you want to do.
- Not expressing your opinion because you are too scared of criticism.
- Thinking twice about what to say to avoid triggering his/her anger.
- Not being able to walk away despite lack of respect because you feel he or she is the only valuable thing you have in your life.
7. Putting her/him on the second spot
No one wants to come second, It’s just that simple and straightforward. Don’t blow off a date, don’t blow off any plans whether because of work or friends. Of course, job and friends are important too but it is vital to make your partner feel wanted and to remind her/him that she/he is your number one priority.
Bonus: How to rectify your mistake!
Own it and say sorry. It’s that simple. However, some people make the mistake of adding an explanation after “Sorry”. You don’t want to do that if you are feeling apologetic from your heart, if not then don’t apologize in the first place. A sorry followed by an explanation or an excuse changes the flavour. Let it be an unconditional apology and give your partner a chance to say “It’s OK”.
Most of use know what these mistakes are and yet we commit them, repeatedly. So let this article be another reminder for you to not commit these mistakes, as well as, to present a nice warm apology for any recent mistakes. Don’t forget to tell them how much you love them after you have apologized. These 6 words – “I am sorry” and “I love you” – can take your relationship a long way and in a very pleasant way. Signing off wishing that you always cherish your relationship and don’t forget to express your thoughts in the comments below. I’d love to hear from you folks. You may read more informative content in our self-help section.